This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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