i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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