I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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