my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
