an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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