My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
