So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
