i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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