More tranny stories later!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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