I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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