i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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