Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
