obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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