I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize