let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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