I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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