I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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