His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
