I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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