you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
