Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
