if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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