well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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