That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
