So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
