at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
