? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
