When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Drake has all the answers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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