She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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