Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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