Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
