All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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