Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
