And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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