I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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