I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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