you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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