I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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