and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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