God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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