Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
