The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize