two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
