that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome