he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!