hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
