I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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