Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
