She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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