This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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