I am in a vortex of obligation.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
