i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
