I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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