he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We need to get me chipped asap
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
