we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I love having hate sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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