i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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