my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
