We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Can vaginas get frostbite?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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