I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
