I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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