You work out of a Hotel?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
