I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We left an ass print on the piano.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
