if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
